Business and Technology

Cleric launches more attacks on POTRAZ Director over Starlink, data prices

HARARE – In a startling broadcast that has set tongues wagging nationwide, the notorious “Fresh-Onion Mutasa,” self-proclaimed “Senior Deacon of Zimbabwe,” has unleashed a scathing diatribe against POTRAZ’s Director General, Gift Machengeta.

The bone of contention? Machengeta’s claim that Zimbabwe boasts the cheapest data rates in the region in a bid to justify the Starlink Ban. Brandishing the stark contrast between Telkom’s 50GB offer for $12.50 in South Africa and Zimbabwe’s paltry 8GB for $13, Fresh-Onion accused Machengeta of brazenly deceiving the populace, igniting outrage and sending his youthful followers into a frenzy, baying for Machengeta’s head.

Also Read: Zimbabwe engages Starlink amid public outrage over data prices

But the eccentric Deacon didn’t stop there. In a surprising twist, he invoked President Mnangagwa’s lion totem, fervently imploring the leader to unleash his fearsome temper and “stop them” from perpetuating the alleged deception.

“Zvinonzi munomboshanduka kuita chikara, apa haiwa baba shandukai. Tsamwai baba tsamwai, finhwai finhwai, budai dikita nehasha, budai mututu,” Fresh-Onion exclaimed in prayerful incantations, his voice rising to a fervent pitch. However, the Evangelical Fellowship of Zimbabwe (EFZ) was swift to distance itself from the controversial figure, casting doubt on his spiritual credibility. ”

Firstly, there is no Senior Deacon in Zimbabwe,” said Brandina Chikwepa, EFZ spokesperson, her disdain palpable. “His name is Fresh-Onion Mutasa, and he was excommunicated by the AFM in 1995.

We categorically condemn prayers that seek to incite animosity, and such prayers may perhaps travel to his ungodly shrine, but they certainly do not go to heaven.”

Fresh-Onion’s provocative remarks have ignited a firestorm of debate, with many eagerly awaiting the complete episode of “Church and National Problems” to witness the full diatribe.

As the nation holds its collective breath, one thing is certain: Fresh-Onion Mutasa has once again proven there is no outrageous line he will not cross, leaving a trail of gasps and giggles in his wake.

By Edmund Kudzayi

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